Sachin Dixit's Blog

Background :
There is this footpath that’s been build recently at my work place . Its a tiny little path on both side of roads inside our campus . We are supposed to walk on it .
The problem is we are supposed to walk ONLY on it ….Tch Tch … it didnt work …
and finally one fine day there were sicurity guards deployed on the walkways … they wud guide us with whistles to walk on the footpaths…..Tch Tch …it dint work too …
and then one fine day …..These guards were given loud speakers …and they would shout from it …asking us to walk on the FP … Only on the FP .
The story was prompted based on this occurance but none from my workplace related to it ..
PS : With rainy seasons the loud speakers are silent ..and I hope this is forever ..

This is this joke …frequented my sms box these dayz ..

1969`s mom to her son : Beta, apne RELIGION ki ladki se shaadi karna ;
1979’s : Apne caste ki ;
1989’s : Apne level ki ;
1999’s : Apne desh ki ;
2009’s : Koi bhi par *ladki* se hee karna ……..

while this one is meant to be a small joke what startled me was that it captured changes in Indian society really well .
It captured the cultural undercurrents related to marriage in Indian society in shortest possible way .
Debate is on whether article 377 which has just decriminalized sexual freedom is actually of this big significance .

Well if u agree to the way i have worded it then there is nothing to think over .
What the court did in the ruling is simple de-criminalization of sexual freedom .
But that now how the media sold the story and that why it mattered .
Somehow this has become Gay ruling than anything else .

Analyzing the basics …..Post British invasion India has been a socially very diff than the free thinking India we take pride in .
Its just that this has not been well realized by Indian masses and intellectuals alike .
Indians for long has been collectively restrictive and individually liberal society till this time .
What this sentence means in simple term is ….so long u conform to the basic rules …u had the freedom to live the way you wish .

Its during and after colonial rule that we all found ourselves as completely changed society in the form albeit with the same soul …
Be it our standards of being cultured …definition of being civil ….parameters of progress …or agree of liberty .

Its with this un-conscious dual-ism in our thinking the whole debate about 377 becomes significant !!!! .

If you have analyzed the joke above carefully you would realize its contrasting gayz with marriage. This is the dual-ism i am referring to .
While being sexually deviant (gay or otherwise ) is matter of orientation .. being gay or lesbian is about lifestyle .

The india i know would not have much issues with the former .
But the india i know is not prepared for the latter .

And i told u guyz …we were collectively restrictive :…..and individually liberal society 🙂 !!!!

When is say that India isn’t ready for gayz … i don’t really have any probelm with them as such .
Rather its a larger issues than that …. Indians aren’t just ready for “Lifestyle ” culture .
Add to it our confused dual-ism …or if u prefer a simple word … Hippocratic 🙂 .
So long we as country dont really state and stand for what really matters …so long we dont chooze the right over to appropriate …we or anyone for that matter is in for huge shocks in these times ..

I will give a simple example … i was visiting my friend at Jammu last year …he stayed in gandhi nagar or smth like that there .
Being the IT geek …i searched for jammu and this nagar on orkut …and lo ….i came across …
Gandhi nagar sex club with some 3-4 thousand members !! …. now i assume all of these are weak ppl …but theay are 3-4 thousand real ppl …they are part of society .
some jammu gayz and wives and gigolo clubs …and i was wondering …when i landed there ..whether jammuites are aware deep down smth is brewing !!!

… i must admit …i used to think that such things happened in Bangalore only …but Jammu wasn’t a simple place either ….and nor should be rest of india .

oh yes … i wasn’t confident of writing this post at first …….lest my friends connect my late marriage with this article 🙂
As a writer the first thing you learn is to keep your personal thoughts and your intellectual ones separate …what i wasn’t sure whether the readers know of it …..lol
…and as i was making up my mind …i came up with the tag line of collective -restriction….and personally free
…and that made writing this post more compelling .

coming back to the topic … the India ….
we see now is in middle of similar transformation that US went though in the hippies revolution .
Things like article 377 or women reservation bill just make it more evident …
or if you prefer ….a better example … movies like ….Kal ho na ho and dostana make it move than evident …
and no wonder …. i consider karan johar as brilliant show man ….

he just made…with these movies .. ….gayz collectively acceptable…. and that is where the PJ above is so important ..

and you thought Jokes were only of small significance eh ?

The Real Meaning

of Words

small note : This post has its images copied from Gmail , Please login to gmail in case you cant see them .Its worth it .

Love


Sorrow


Innocence


Departure


Pain


Solitude


Music


Respect


Compassion

Friendship

.

Patience

Rescued


Best friends



Divine

“Life is not about waiting

for the storms to pass…it’s

about learning how

to dance in the rain.”

I said in my last blog

(http://emutions.blogspot.com/2009/04/india–awekning-will-election-2009-will.html )

that people are so sure of a hung parliament and congresses demise that the results might shock them .

As luck has it the same thing happened . Congress won with thumping majority . And boy I love underdog stories .This could be story of the decade of sorts .For this election is quite remarkable in many aspects .

Rise of congress: You would have heard the seat count for INC and how the UP results turned it all around . The main point is whether its 262 or 225 . Whether its congresses personal victory or that with pre poll alliance . The congress is back as a party . It should satisfying to all the nationalist ppl that the balance of power in Indian polity has been restored . The lalus and paswan and mayawati that has eaten humble pie doesn’t matter that much . To begin with its not about the individual . Its not even so much about their tendencies . Its about the vacuum that existed at the center stage . By luck or by effort INC did fill this gap and that matters [cant take side , I work in private co.].

Fall of left : Now there isn’t a fall of left at national level . They might loose the state to mamata in assembly election .One cant even ignore the constituencies they won . left is still alive and shall be present in parliament . For most of the last years they have been painted as complete villain . Nopes I don’t support the arrogance neither do I support political player in time warp . But the fact is left is more victim of bad publicity than bad deeds . For political arrogance and out dated agenda isn’t alien to many of Indian parties . Even other wise not all of what left said and is publicized is bad . Few of their demands on insurance and bank reforms do make sense . Economics and social decision are matter of choices and we need to give left the necessary personal space as a a party .Somehow I feel there were vested interests in marking them as total villains .

Rise of Rahul : This one was long dude . The prince should take his seat and make the moves . Somehow the timing saddens me . Rahul , like his father , comes across as boy with dream . May be he isn’t realistic and mature and what not . But time has proven that these are the people that sow the seed of path breaking initiatives . Sad part is that with such a thumping victory will Rahul gandhi get to learn all the lesson and will sycophancy spoil some of it . Welcome to the new leader .

Phonix of BJP ? : They did it again . Last time it was India rising and this time it was Advani as strong leader . Somehow BJP did not get past the US like election hangover . May be they are ahead of the curve . Or may be this party is out of touch with reality . The truth remains to be seen . As Mr advani is set to retire it also offer BJP a golden opportunity to re structure and be the balancing alternative that we need so much , given the rise of congress .

No Indian Obama : Given the performance attributed to Mr lalu yadav once cant surely suspect that Ms mayavati would not prove good as PM for India ,in any sense whatsoever . What perturbed me so long is the media frenzy . They were almost ready to launch a huge star making campaign in case this lady was vital to govt formation . With out passing any judgment to her credentials I personally feel that any country should hail its leaders and their rise for right reasons . Luckily such a mania of Dalit lady Pm campaign is averted and I wish we always get leaders based on their own merit or luck than such criteria .

Congress and Economy : This one perhaps the most mythified one . Not to deny the reformists credentials of INC and Mr manmohan sing . The fact remains that the whole agenda of FDI , reforms and disinvestment – privatization has , luckily been exposed in recent crisis . While the markets hail come back Mr Manmohan and likes we need to separate the myths from the truth . For this is the same set of people who also saw the Indian real estate bubble being built . The ideas like full convertibility if rupee , euro doller reserve , Bank and Insurance reforms are some of the bold and mature decision that are purely individual and vision based than rely on popular norms of financial and fiscal wisdom . To say the least and pass safest statement one need to differentiate people from decision . The former doesn’t guarantee later and the quality of it . As usual assumptions is enemy of money making and national prosperity .

Congress and US : This is probably the most ignored aspect of all .Given the economical and political situation and the position US has in them . What we needed in India is experienced leader and foreign minister . People whoz wisdom is deep rooted with Indian ethos . People who are grounded in reality than driven by craze of proving ideologies . And people who are flexible enough ]. Obscure enough INC that too without disrupting allies works better for India in the historic juncture that India is in than ,many other alternatives .

Saint Sonia : She is stronger than ever . Don’t be surprised to see her top most of lists of power women survey . The lady might be on her way to be one of the great India has seen . Just forecasting 🙂

In summary , the rise of congress is significant in the opportunities we have , the much needed sanity that India needed and the baggage of redundancy that comes with it .Only that many of them are misplaced and most of them are misunderstood .

Ironical as it is . This incident coincides with fall of LTTE . Poetic is it ?

Jai Ho ..

two behaviorists meet each other.

One of them says, “You’re fine; how am I?”

🙂

There is truth in this line that made me think . The one who loves less rules the relation .
Its represented the practical side of love relationship .

Human relationship were always about power equations . The most obvious is the relations that we have with a co passengers . The most notorious ones are that of deception and deceit .
And the most empowering one …. that of love .

Now that’s a contradiction i made ! if love was all this selfless , empowering and complete experience and relation … then when did a practical side of it got developed .

Rather whats the genesis of this practical side of love and the balance of power in it ?

May be the answer lies in the way love is being developed these days . Hang on , I ain’t saying that love these days is less genuine than it was earlier . Even with the fast life that we live reaching such heights is possible, of course !! .

The problem I feel is from the things that aren’t love . Its the relations and the various shades of it that are being treated as love .

There are always satisfying relations and states of being that are equally liberating as love relation . There is affection , there is attraction , there is intimacy , there is affinity and there is friendship .

Now i wont go on defining all these and i know that everyone is able to differentiate between all these relationships in his own way . Please also note that I did not mention infatuation since i believe it doesn’t exist but its a derogatory term for relations people cannot make sense of .And the best part is its in these relations the power equations are more worldly than love .
Of course its a generalization .

But the point I am making its that apparently our generation has a big burden on its head .
And that’s of falling in love . That’s of being in love relation with something .Its this burden that we color and insist that all other types of close relations that can and do exist between 2 people , be love .

Its this deliberate or inadvertent camouflage that ppl take for love that develops the practical side of love .
Love for once … grows , the speed can vary for people but the steady growth which lasts life long is the main charecteretics of love when compared to other relations .

And with all the fairness each relation has it own growth cycle .And this cycle goes for a toss when the people are in hurry to fall in relations . Coz its when relations are left on their own to grow the natural balances between 2 people and all aspects of them develop . this is what makes relations so fulfilling and enduring . This is what makes people surrender their egos and rise above their level.

Love or otherwise , there is a constant hurry and pressure that is there with us , to be always and quickly be in relations . May be its the side effect of the economic and social changes . or may be our generation just don’t know how to deal with the unprecedented power that these changes gave them .

The net result is ,we tend to develop relations than let them develop on their own .
And its when such choices are made power equations and practicality over weights the quality of relation , its meaning and that of life is general .

The funniest part is , we all , rather most us do it ….and we all think we don’t .

And then sometime … we wonder .. why doesn’t life sound so great ..
why doesn’t love feel like ecstasy …

the difference ………. my friend is that of masterpiece and mass production .

ps : i aint disparaging the GF/BF culture . In fact i find it very practical … so long ppl keep the definitions clear ..

The other say my junior came to me and apologized for smth she did not do well .
“Sorry sir , I am not good at communication skills” .
Not that the mistake was trivial but this confession kind of got stuck …

Somehow there seemed to be a right way of saying things .
That was the communication skill under discussion .
Somehow it seemed that everyone , almost every one at workplace was supposed to have them .
And every one is supposed to have them the same right way .

I am amazed at genesis of such developments .
They say ignorance is bliss ………………..
And the whole stuff of interpersonal skill is centered around making these ignorance known .
Known to people so that they can acquire and improve them .
to me this seems like a huge burden , one is supposed to know the right thing to do or say .
And what amazes me further is that the fact that each one us is made different .
Then how is that there is one magical skill/s that fits and cures all our problem .

Nopes I am not making a case against social appropriateness . The manners and etiquette’s relevant to the situation we are in must be followed .
And luckily most of human beings have them by the time they grow up .

Its what happens after that makes me disturbed .If you observer all / most of the skill that are tught have one common thread .
Its about being manipulative in a non villainous way .
Its about suppressing yourself and saying/doing things the way it would please others .
Restrain and suppression in this case are to similar but distinct thing .
I wonder , how much such kind of faking it really makes people happy .
And more especially how long ?

We might have huge benefits by being practical and acquiring such skill .
But the point remains is if all your life one has lived a fake self then isn’t that what he / she really is ?
This is where may be the answer lies …
Being how much polished is………. natural ?
and where does the boundary between necessity and compulsion lie …….?

or in our journey of being professional , being the resources for being productive we have lost this distinction .

or is it that some one who wanted to design the modern productive working society has forgotten that everyone cannot be best in the same way .So any effort of enforcing such forced adaptation goes against the very reason of why …………………we wish to work and earn .

…….the reasons of progress and happiness . For everyone , all together …. being unique !