Category: Write Ups and Downs

This is this joke …frequented my sms box these dayz ..

1969`s mom to her son : Beta, apne RELIGION ki ladki se shaadi karna ;
1979’s : Apne caste ki ;
1989’s : Apne level ki ;
1999’s : Apne desh ki ;
2009’s : Koi bhi par *ladki* se hee karna ……..

while this one is meant to be a small joke what startled me was that it captured changes in Indian society really well .
It captured the cultural undercurrents related to marriage in Indian society in shortest possible way .
Debate is on whether article 377 which has just decriminalized sexual freedom is actually of this big significance .

Well if u agree to the way i have worded it then there is nothing to think over .
What the court did in the ruling is simple de-criminalization of sexual freedom .
But that now how the media sold the story and that why it mattered .
Somehow this has become Gay ruling than anything else .

Analyzing the basics …..Post British invasion India has been a socially very diff than the free thinking India we take pride in .
Its just that this has not been well realized by Indian masses and intellectuals alike .
Indians for long has been collectively restrictive and individually liberal society till this time .
What this sentence means in simple term is ….so long u conform to the basic rules …u had the freedom to live the way you wish .

Its during and after colonial rule that we all found ourselves as completely changed society in the form albeit with the same soul …
Be it our standards of being cultured …definition of being civil ….parameters of progress …or agree of liberty .

Its with this un-conscious dual-ism in our thinking the whole debate about 377 becomes significant !!!! .

If you have analyzed the joke above carefully you would realize its contrasting gayz with marriage. This is the dual-ism i am referring to .
While being sexually deviant (gay or otherwise ) is matter of orientation .. being gay or lesbian is about lifestyle .

The india i know would not have much issues with the former .
But the india i know is not prepared for the latter .

And i told u guyz …we were collectively restrictive :…..and individually liberal society 🙂 !!!!

When is say that India isn’t ready for gayz … i don’t really have any probelm with them as such .
Rather its a larger issues than that …. Indians aren’t just ready for “Lifestyle ” culture .
Add to it our confused dual-ism …or if u prefer a simple word … Hippocratic 🙂 .
So long we as country dont really state and stand for what really matters …so long we dont chooze the right over to appropriate …we or anyone for that matter is in for huge shocks in these times ..

I will give a simple example … i was visiting my friend at Jammu last year …he stayed in gandhi nagar or smth like that there .
Being the IT geek …i searched for jammu and this nagar on orkut …and lo ….i came across …
Gandhi nagar sex club with some 3-4 thousand members !! …. now i assume all of these are weak ppl …but theay are 3-4 thousand real ppl …they are part of society .
some jammu gayz and wives and gigolo clubs …and i was wondering …when i landed there ..whether jammuites are aware deep down smth is brewing !!!

… i must admit …i used to think that such things happened in Bangalore only …but Jammu wasn’t a simple place either ….and nor should be rest of india .

oh yes … i wasn’t confident of writing this post at first …….lest my friends connect my late marriage with this article 🙂
As a writer the first thing you learn is to keep your personal thoughts and your intellectual ones separate …what i wasn’t sure whether the readers know of it …..lol
…and as i was making up my mind …i came up with the tag line of collective -restriction….and personally free
…and that made writing this post more compelling .

coming back to the topic … the India ….
we see now is in middle of similar transformation that US went though in the hippies revolution .
Things like article 377 or women reservation bill just make it more evident …
or if you prefer ….a better example … movies like ….Kal ho na ho and dostana make it move than evident …
and no wonder …. i consider karan johar as brilliant show man ….

he just made…with these movies .. ….gayz collectively acceptable…. and that is where the PJ above is so important ..

and you thought Jokes were only of small significance eh ?

The Real Meaning

of Words

small note : This post has its images copied from Gmail , Please login to gmail in case you cant see them .Its worth it .

Love


Sorrow


Innocence


Departure


Pain


Solitude


Music


Respect


Compassion

Friendship

.

Patience

Rescued


Best friends



Divine

“Life is not about waiting

for the storms to pass…it’s

about learning how

to dance in the rain.”

I said in my last blog

(http://emutions.blogspot.com/2009/04/india–awekning-will-election-2009-will.html )

that people are so sure of a hung parliament and congresses demise that the results might shock them .

As luck has it the same thing happened . Congress won with thumping majority . And boy I love underdog stories .This could be story of the decade of sorts .For this election is quite remarkable in many aspects .

Rise of congress: You would have heard the seat count for INC and how the UP results turned it all around . The main point is whether its 262 or 225 . Whether its congresses personal victory or that with pre poll alliance . The congress is back as a party . It should satisfying to all the nationalist ppl that the balance of power in Indian polity has been restored . The lalus and paswan and mayawati that has eaten humble pie doesn’t matter that much . To begin with its not about the individual . Its not even so much about their tendencies . Its about the vacuum that existed at the center stage . By luck or by effort INC did fill this gap and that matters [cant take side , I work in private co.].

Fall of left : Now there isn’t a fall of left at national level . They might loose the state to mamata in assembly election .One cant even ignore the constituencies they won . left is still alive and shall be present in parliament . For most of the last years they have been painted as complete villain . Nopes I don’t support the arrogance neither do I support political player in time warp . But the fact is left is more victim of bad publicity than bad deeds . For political arrogance and out dated agenda isn’t alien to many of Indian parties . Even other wise not all of what left said and is publicized is bad . Few of their demands on insurance and bank reforms do make sense . Economics and social decision are matter of choices and we need to give left the necessary personal space as a a party .Somehow I feel there were vested interests in marking them as total villains .

Rise of Rahul : This one was long dude . The prince should take his seat and make the moves . Somehow the timing saddens me . Rahul , like his father , comes across as boy with dream . May be he isn’t realistic and mature and what not . But time has proven that these are the people that sow the seed of path breaking initiatives . Sad part is that with such a thumping victory will Rahul gandhi get to learn all the lesson and will sycophancy spoil some of it . Welcome to the new leader .

Phonix of BJP ? : They did it again . Last time it was India rising and this time it was Advani as strong leader . Somehow BJP did not get past the US like election hangover . May be they are ahead of the curve . Or may be this party is out of touch with reality . The truth remains to be seen . As Mr advani is set to retire it also offer BJP a golden opportunity to re structure and be the balancing alternative that we need so much , given the rise of congress .

No Indian Obama : Given the performance attributed to Mr lalu yadav once cant surely suspect that Ms mayavati would not prove good as PM for India ,in any sense whatsoever . What perturbed me so long is the media frenzy . They were almost ready to launch a huge star making campaign in case this lady was vital to govt formation . With out passing any judgment to her credentials I personally feel that any country should hail its leaders and their rise for right reasons . Luckily such a mania of Dalit lady Pm campaign is averted and I wish we always get leaders based on their own merit or luck than such criteria .

Congress and Economy : This one perhaps the most mythified one . Not to deny the reformists credentials of INC and Mr manmohan sing . The fact remains that the whole agenda of FDI , reforms and disinvestment – privatization has , luckily been exposed in recent crisis . While the markets hail come back Mr Manmohan and likes we need to separate the myths from the truth . For this is the same set of people who also saw the Indian real estate bubble being built . The ideas like full convertibility if rupee , euro doller reserve , Bank and Insurance reforms are some of the bold and mature decision that are purely individual and vision based than rely on popular norms of financial and fiscal wisdom . To say the least and pass safest statement one need to differentiate people from decision . The former doesn’t guarantee later and the quality of it . As usual assumptions is enemy of money making and national prosperity .

Congress and US : This is probably the most ignored aspect of all .Given the economical and political situation and the position US has in them . What we needed in India is experienced leader and foreign minister . People whoz wisdom is deep rooted with Indian ethos . People who are grounded in reality than driven by craze of proving ideologies . And people who are flexible enough ]. Obscure enough INC that too without disrupting allies works better for India in the historic juncture that India is in than ,many other alternatives .

Saint Sonia : She is stronger than ever . Don’t be surprised to see her top most of lists of power women survey . The lady might be on her way to be one of the great India has seen . Just forecasting 🙂

In summary , the rise of congress is significant in the opportunities we have , the much needed sanity that India needed and the baggage of redundancy that comes with it .Only that many of them are misplaced and most of them are misunderstood .

Ironical as it is . This incident coincides with fall of LTTE . Poetic is it ?

Jai Ho ..

two behaviorists meet each other.

One of them says, “You’re fine; how am I?”

🙂

There is truth in this line that made me think . The one who loves less rules the relation .
Its represented the practical side of love relationship .

Human relationship were always about power equations . The most obvious is the relations that we have with a co passengers . The most notorious ones are that of deception and deceit .
And the most empowering one …. that of love .

Now that’s a contradiction i made ! if love was all this selfless , empowering and complete experience and relation … then when did a practical side of it got developed .

Rather whats the genesis of this practical side of love and the balance of power in it ?

May be the answer lies in the way love is being developed these days . Hang on , I ain’t saying that love these days is less genuine than it was earlier . Even with the fast life that we live reaching such heights is possible, of course !! .

The problem I feel is from the things that aren’t love . Its the relations and the various shades of it that are being treated as love .

There are always satisfying relations and states of being that are equally liberating as love relation . There is affection , there is attraction , there is intimacy , there is affinity and there is friendship .

Now i wont go on defining all these and i know that everyone is able to differentiate between all these relationships in his own way . Please also note that I did not mention infatuation since i believe it doesn’t exist but its a derogatory term for relations people cannot make sense of .And the best part is its in these relations the power equations are more worldly than love .
Of course its a generalization .

But the point I am making its that apparently our generation has a big burden on its head .
And that’s of falling in love . That’s of being in love relation with something .Its this burden that we color and insist that all other types of close relations that can and do exist between 2 people , be love .

Its this deliberate or inadvertent camouflage that ppl take for love that develops the practical side of love .
Love for once … grows , the speed can vary for people but the steady growth which lasts life long is the main charecteretics of love when compared to other relations .

And with all the fairness each relation has it own growth cycle .And this cycle goes for a toss when the people are in hurry to fall in relations . Coz its when relations are left on their own to grow the natural balances between 2 people and all aspects of them develop . this is what makes relations so fulfilling and enduring . This is what makes people surrender their egos and rise above their level.

Love or otherwise , there is a constant hurry and pressure that is there with us , to be always and quickly be in relations . May be its the side effect of the economic and social changes . or may be our generation just don’t know how to deal with the unprecedented power that these changes gave them .

The net result is ,we tend to develop relations than let them develop on their own .
And its when such choices are made power equations and practicality over weights the quality of relation , its meaning and that of life is general .

The funniest part is , we all , rather most us do it ….and we all think we don’t .

And then sometime … we wonder .. why doesn’t life sound so great ..
why doesn’t love feel like ecstasy …

the difference ………. my friend is that of masterpiece and mass production .

ps : i aint disparaging the GF/BF culture . In fact i find it very practical … so long ppl keep the definitions clear ..

The other say my junior came to me and apologized for smth she did not do well .
“Sorry sir , I am not good at communication skills” .
Not that the mistake was trivial but this confession kind of got stuck …

Somehow there seemed to be a right way of saying things .
That was the communication skill under discussion .
Somehow it seemed that everyone , almost every one at workplace was supposed to have them .
And every one is supposed to have them the same right way .

I am amazed at genesis of such developments .
They say ignorance is bliss ………………..
And the whole stuff of interpersonal skill is centered around making these ignorance known .
Known to people so that they can acquire and improve them .
to me this seems like a huge burden , one is supposed to know the right thing to do or say .
And what amazes me further is that the fact that each one us is made different .
Then how is that there is one magical skill/s that fits and cures all our problem .

Nopes I am not making a case against social appropriateness . The manners and etiquette’s relevant to the situation we are in must be followed .
And luckily most of human beings have them by the time they grow up .

Its what happens after that makes me disturbed .If you observer all / most of the skill that are tught have one common thread .
Its about being manipulative in a non villainous way .
Its about suppressing yourself and saying/doing things the way it would please others .
Restrain and suppression in this case are to similar but distinct thing .
I wonder , how much such kind of faking it really makes people happy .
And more especially how long ?

We might have huge benefits by being practical and acquiring such skill .
But the point remains is if all your life one has lived a fake self then isn’t that what he / she really is ?
This is where may be the answer lies …
Being how much polished is………. natural ?
and where does the boundary between necessity and compulsion lie …….?

or in our journey of being professional , being the resources for being productive we have lost this distinction .

or is it that some one who wanted to design the modern productive working society has forgotten that everyone cannot be best in the same way .So any effort of enforcing such forced adaptation goes against the very reason of why …………………we wish to work and earn .

…….the reasons of progress and happiness . For everyone , all together …. being unique !

The jagore campaign was all around me . Some thousand people from my company registered for voters list . The feeling was overwhelming and I had to really wait for long time to get rid of that influence .

While jagore and allied campaigns might be limited in their reach , considering the size that India is of , it marks beginning of a new trend in this country .

For this was first successful campaign centered around citizenship . It will be interesting to see how much this affects the elite and translate into votes .

And if that happens this small % of new voters might change the result. I stick to might as a verb here especially considering the fact that most of our constituencies are rural 🙂 .

What amazes me about 2 diff things that are happening this time .
The first one is the sleek advertisements that BJP and Congress has put in place .

Full marks should be given to the ad agency that designed congress TV ads . They are top notch .
The usage of “jai ho” song might go down as a brilliant choice . But can such gimmicks change poll results ? … Now i don’t confuse myself with political analyst 🙂 but slogans and catch lines have their strong place in any campaigning . And this time they are too good . This time they are very filmy .

The second fact is how certain people are about the poll outcome . Almost everyone is sure of we getting a hung Parliament . The certainty is amazing . Somehow its so over the top that I feel the poll outcome might shock everyone . Or I hope so 🙂 that we get stable govt.

We never know , say some news on economics or Pakistan front might come in middle of election and change the outcome . But that’s wishful , I admit and I stop 🙂 .

Equally amazing is how people have written congress off . Looks like all TV pundits are more sure of congress’s poor show than a hung parliament . May be they are right , may be manmohans and sonia’s magic wont work ,
i take no side . Its just that I love underdog stories .
They are so so dramatic that it almost feels like democracy ….. !

Happy Intellectual is an interesting concept .Some how i find this as oxymoron .

Lets say for the sake of simplicity that an intellectual is a person who thinks . He [ gender neutral ] is someone who always thinks . He thinks about everything that happens around him .He tries to reason everything that goes around him and every thing that goes on but not around him 🙂 .
This is the guy who relies more on reason and logic than customs and rituals . Such a reliance often lead this person to question things . Such questions then begets agreements and disagreements over things .And then on an intellectual person starts taking stand . Stand for things he thinks and believes in . This is kind of a raw energy that has potential to shape things . Call it power of thought if we wish .Consider this a brain power 🙂
Cut to real life an intellect is either a rebel or he is into his own shell . But the power remains .

Lets move to over next type . A Happy person . He is someone ,everyone likes to be .Here is happy person who cheerful about life and things that go on . He is optimistic about tings that go around him and accommodates whatever happens with a smile .
I wonder where does such an sanguine outlook of the world come from . Is that a happy person is more acceptable towards thing .Must be .One cant be at peace with things he cant accept .
At cognitive level ,scientist say , being happy is being wel adjusted .So may be our Happy person dint accept things as they are but he compromised. Its like acceptance of convenience .And its also about ignoring the inconvenient .
Life as harsh and unfair it can be is a rough thing to deal with and digest .And i find such a compromise for the sake of feel good as quite practical .Its just the acceptance of human limitation and weakness . But once , the books say , we accept things as they are life become easier . It becomes easy . Such ease makes one optimistic about future . And this spreads cheer in ones dealing . This makes our Happy person .

We come across both these types . Somehow the intellectual person isnt that happy . And the happy person isnt that questioning . We find both of the normal .

I dont have any final verdict on what the right thing . But at fundamental level i disagree with both these types . Somewhere i find them extremes .Extremes in their belief that everything should be logical or nothing should be . Extreme in their practice or determination and immediate acceptance .
Somewhere at deeper level both make evident tow of the very strong tendency of human nature . While the intellectual signifies spirit of human mind and its might the happy person exemplifies our insatiable need of assurance .Without again taking a side i feel both of these are going for one sided and over simplified world view .
Its like one person choosing to always fight and one … never .

We as human race might still spend ages trying to figure out exactly how powerful human mind is . We as human race might go on getting philosophical and expound the virtues of acceptance .

Enter our Happy intellectual . This is an interesting category . Its of the people who understand that life is struggle to being with but the end can be a compromise . or may be the other way round . Point is its the Happy intellectuals non pursuel of a static view of world that makes it exciting . This is the person who is always cool with ever changing reality and still ready to negotiate his way out . He embodies the best of our fighter spirit and our sentimental flexibility .
He for once is the person who can switch between material and spiritual realms of our existence with ease .
To me thing signals an immense power . Its the flaring human mind that’s under control . Its the gushing human emotions that are under supervision . Its an enterprising human mind that values people .Its the realization that world need to be improved but not altered to suit ones convenience . Its the determination life needs to be enjoyed and be fought for .
Its of the people who has power to change things and the maturity to know what needs to changed why and how and most importantly how much .

Ben was one such person , i met in flight when i was drunk . One of such a person i know .and the reason why he matter is he is intellectual and he is happy .

As a teen i used to have big complaints on my friends forgetting to wish me birthday .Its was a simple funda for me then . Anyone one who wishes me on the day was my real friend .Nopes i dint confuse between great friends and routine ones . But someone who cares to remember my birthday was really my friend . Later when i grew up the fundae also changed . But i cant still laugh at my criteria of really friends . It was a rather simple and practical consideration .Some how the act of doing something so basic as saying Happy Bday assured the sanctity of the relation . I still go with the funda .doing things matter [ not so abt the converse though ].

Mumbai Attack on Taj and Trident were no small event for India .Much has been writeen about them and as the time passes its becoming more evident that this incident is going to shape India big time .More especially its considerations on nationalism .

I wish to draw attention to the other aspect where its going to make bigg difference , Indian democracy . As as institution its maturing .The way Mumabi blast prosecution is being handled makes the same thing evident .
Patriotism apart the basic things that happeing in and around Ajmal Kasabs trial is the case in point. Consider this Here is a nation infamous for Godhra and the mumbai attack . Here is the terrorist accused cought for Mumabi attck , looking all healthy . There was no news of any kinda of religious abuse towards this guy . He is presented in court and given a fair trial .

If you are not Indian or don’t believe much in Indian judicial system I wont argue with you .
But the fact that Ajmal Kasab has been given a govt laywer . The fact that Ms Anjali Waghmare is determined to fight his case . The fact that there is going to be detailed court trial does establish the sanctity of Indian democracy . No big claims that this is something so great about India .Rather its a sigh of content that the system is sane and working .

U know what the daughter of Hemant Karkare , the cop who died in mumbai attack said about kasab ” Release him , he is rather young can be/is mislead ” .May that’s something unique to this soil .. may be ..

The question hurts !.

The answer seems to be obvious but still … India has a long way to go in the process of respecting itself .

The attack was unprecedented in many respects. There was this generation and whole of india who started watching live action as it started .Boradcasted across network it had a moviegoers thrill in the eyes of many watching .Yes there was anger and a sense of being insulted when the siege continued for days but that too shows the naivety that we collectively have for such situations .
While we salute the brave police officers many of us have tough time ignoring that the ATS chief died with an out dated Armour in place .
While we appulaud the commandos we have tough time too ignoring the delays the system made .
Mumbai attack shattered many things along with the pride of Indians .
Its now a nation coming in terms with reality .Its people are realizing the sweet assumptions that we had aren’t so ! .

This India is now demanding action .And for a time after many years Indians started to realize that we are asking at the wrong place .
Its this india who is facing the moment of truth .The truth that we ignored and compromised the very basics standards that need to be followed to make a good society a great republic .Its this painful process of self examination that we are going through leaves me with hope that we may finally evolve to the questioning and uncompromising nation that we historically were know to be .

This is not to say that we or any other nation could avoid such incidents in future .Infcat i strongly believe thats its India who has the philosophical maturity to solve the problem of it at fundamental level .
But not in this incident .This was a case of terror and national insult and we must be candid in acknowledging that this is also a case of nation ignorant and unprepared ! .

To me Mumbai attacks aren’t unprecedented because they killed so many people or because they took hostage .It for reason subtle and far more effective for social psyche that makes them defining for India .

consider this :
This was the attack on foreign nationals most notably Israelis . This was also attack on the riches and not some train passenger .This was the attack happening on the background of rise of the term called hindu terror . This was the Most uncommunal aattck we had .This was the aattck where Muslims in mumbai denied access to their graveyard for terrorist burial .That to me , my friend is life defining moment for this nation .
Most notebly this was the attack in the age of media .This was the time where we had pakistani journalist participating in TV debates .It was in the face , like a slap , awakening the masses that unknowingly chose to pretned to sleep .

But now, somewhere it takes some amount of pain to call ourself that great of nation and super power in making .And this kind of feeling is frustrating .While i observe an event in making i pray that we feel more angry than frustrated , for its the former that leads to action . The later is just a drama done for self satisfaction .

While its too cute to believe that condy rices’s visit to Delhi was just a goodwill gesture .
The main question is will we go on war ?

The answer my friend in NO .

Not that i take side on we going or not going on war .The main question that won’t let me sleep is will the generation remember that we chose not to go on war ?
Will the generation never forget this choice made for progress as price paid and later channelize this in greater and universal benefit .

The main question is how far we will remember this day ?,will be take instant decision or will we stop compromising on principles? …will we improve the sum total of us …the nation ….?

the real question is …will india awake and arise ?!