Category: Misc

There is truth in this line that made me think . The one who loves less rules the relation .
Its represented the practical side of love relationship .

Human relationship were always about power equations . The most obvious is the relations that we have with a co passengers . The most notorious ones are that of deception and deceit .
And the most empowering one …. that of love .

Now that’s a contradiction i made ! if love was all this selfless , empowering and complete experience and relation … then when did a practical side of it got developed .

Rather whats the genesis of this practical side of love and the balance of power in it ?

May be the answer lies in the way love is being developed these days . Hang on , I ain’t saying that love these days is less genuine than it was earlier . Even with the fast life that we live reaching such heights is possible, of course !! .

The problem I feel is from the things that aren’t love . Its the relations and the various shades of it that are being treated as love .

There are always satisfying relations and states of being that are equally liberating as love relation . There is affection , there is attraction , there is intimacy , there is affinity and there is friendship .

Now i wont go on defining all these and i know that everyone is able to differentiate between all these relationships in his own way . Please also note that I did not mention infatuation since i believe it doesn’t exist but its a derogatory term for relations people cannot make sense of .And the best part is its in these relations the power equations are more worldly than love .
Of course its a generalization .

But the point I am making its that apparently our generation has a big burden on its head .
And that’s of falling in love . That’s of being in love relation with something .Its this burden that we color and insist that all other types of close relations that can and do exist between 2 people , be love .

Its this deliberate or inadvertent camouflage that ppl take for love that develops the practical side of love .
Love for once … grows , the speed can vary for people but the steady growth which lasts life long is the main charecteretics of love when compared to other relations .

And with all the fairness each relation has it own growth cycle .And this cycle goes for a toss when the people are in hurry to fall in relations . Coz its when relations are left on their own to grow the natural balances between 2 people and all aspects of them develop . this is what makes relations so fulfilling and enduring . This is what makes people surrender their egos and rise above their level.

Love or otherwise , there is a constant hurry and pressure that is there with us , to be always and quickly be in relations . May be its the side effect of the economic and social changes . or may be our generation just don’t know how to deal with the unprecedented power that these changes gave them .

The net result is ,we tend to develop relations than let them develop on their own .
And its when such choices are made power equations and practicality over weights the quality of relation , its meaning and that of life is general .

The funniest part is , we all , rather most us do it ….and we all think we don’t .

And then sometime … we wonder .. why doesn’t life sound so great ..
why doesn’t love feel like ecstasy …

the difference ………. my friend is that of masterpiece and mass production .

ps : i aint disparaging the GF/BF culture . In fact i find it very practical … so long ppl keep the definitions clear ..

The other say my junior came to me and apologized for smth she did not do well .
“Sorry sir , I am not good at communication skills” .
Not that the mistake was trivial but this confession kind of got stuck …

Somehow there seemed to be a right way of saying things .
That was the communication skill under discussion .
Somehow it seemed that everyone , almost every one at workplace was supposed to have them .
And every one is supposed to have them the same right way .

I am amazed at genesis of such developments .
They say ignorance is bliss ………………..
And the whole stuff of interpersonal skill is centered around making these ignorance known .
Known to people so that they can acquire and improve them .
to me this seems like a huge burden , one is supposed to know the right thing to do or say .
And what amazes me further is that the fact that each one us is made different .
Then how is that there is one magical skill/s that fits and cures all our problem .

Nopes I am not making a case against social appropriateness . The manners and etiquette’s relevant to the situation we are in must be followed .
And luckily most of human beings have them by the time they grow up .

Its what happens after that makes me disturbed .If you observer all / most of the skill that are tught have one common thread .
Its about being manipulative in a non villainous way .
Its about suppressing yourself and saying/doing things the way it would please others .
Restrain and suppression in this case are to similar but distinct thing .
I wonder , how much such kind of faking it really makes people happy .
And more especially how long ?

We might have huge benefits by being practical and acquiring such skill .
But the point remains is if all your life one has lived a fake self then isn’t that what he / she really is ?
This is where may be the answer lies …
Being how much polished is………. natural ?
and where does the boundary between necessity and compulsion lie …….?

or in our journey of being professional , being the resources for being productive we have lost this distinction .

or is it that some one who wanted to design the modern productive working society has forgotten that everyone cannot be best in the same way .So any effort of enforcing such forced adaptation goes against the very reason of why …………………we wish to work and earn .

…….the reasons of progress and happiness . For everyone , all together …. being unique !

The jagore campaign was all around me . Some thousand people from my company registered for voters list . The feeling was overwhelming and I had to really wait for long time to get rid of that influence .

While jagore and allied campaigns might be limited in their reach , considering the size that India is of , it marks beginning of a new trend in this country .

For this was first successful campaign centered around citizenship . It will be interesting to see how much this affects the elite and translate into votes .

And if that happens this small % of new voters might change the result. I stick to might as a verb here especially considering the fact that most of our constituencies are rural 🙂 .

What amazes me about 2 diff things that are happening this time .
The first one is the sleek advertisements that BJP and Congress has put in place .

Full marks should be given to the ad agency that designed congress TV ads . They are top notch .
The usage of “jai ho” song might go down as a brilliant choice . But can such gimmicks change poll results ? … Now i don’t confuse myself with political analyst 🙂 but slogans and catch lines have their strong place in any campaigning . And this time they are too good . This time they are very filmy .

The second fact is how certain people are about the poll outcome . Almost everyone is sure of we getting a hung Parliament . The certainty is amazing . Somehow its so over the top that I feel the poll outcome might shock everyone . Or I hope so 🙂 that we get stable govt.

We never know , say some news on economics or Pakistan front might come in middle of election and change the outcome . But that’s wishful , I admit and I stop 🙂 .

Equally amazing is how people have written congress off . Looks like all TV pundits are more sure of congress’s poor show than a hung parliament . May be they are right , may be manmohans and sonia’s magic wont work ,
i take no side . Its just that I love underdog stories .
They are so so dramatic that it almost feels like democracy ….. !

Happy Intellectual is an interesting concept .Some how i find this as oxymoron .

Lets say for the sake of simplicity that an intellectual is a person who thinks . He [ gender neutral ] is someone who always thinks . He thinks about everything that happens around him .He tries to reason everything that goes around him and every thing that goes on but not around him 🙂 .
This is the guy who relies more on reason and logic than customs and rituals . Such a reliance often lead this person to question things . Such questions then begets agreements and disagreements over things .And then on an intellectual person starts taking stand . Stand for things he thinks and believes in . This is kind of a raw energy that has potential to shape things . Call it power of thought if we wish .Consider this a brain power 🙂
Cut to real life an intellect is either a rebel or he is into his own shell . But the power remains .

Lets move to over next type . A Happy person . He is someone ,everyone likes to be .Here is happy person who cheerful about life and things that go on . He is optimistic about tings that go around him and accommodates whatever happens with a smile .
I wonder where does such an sanguine outlook of the world come from . Is that a happy person is more acceptable towards thing .Must be .One cant be at peace with things he cant accept .
At cognitive level ,scientist say , being happy is being wel adjusted .So may be our Happy person dint accept things as they are but he compromised. Its like acceptance of convenience .And its also about ignoring the inconvenient .
Life as harsh and unfair it can be is a rough thing to deal with and digest .And i find such a compromise for the sake of feel good as quite practical .Its just the acceptance of human limitation and weakness . But once , the books say , we accept things as they are life become easier . It becomes easy . Such ease makes one optimistic about future . And this spreads cheer in ones dealing . This makes our Happy person .

We come across both these types . Somehow the intellectual person isnt that happy . And the happy person isnt that questioning . We find both of the normal .

I dont have any final verdict on what the right thing . But at fundamental level i disagree with both these types . Somewhere i find them extremes .Extremes in their belief that everything should be logical or nothing should be . Extreme in their practice or determination and immediate acceptance .
Somewhere at deeper level both make evident tow of the very strong tendency of human nature . While the intellectual signifies spirit of human mind and its might the happy person exemplifies our insatiable need of assurance .Without again taking a side i feel both of these are going for one sided and over simplified world view .
Its like one person choosing to always fight and one … never .

We as human race might still spend ages trying to figure out exactly how powerful human mind is . We as human race might go on getting philosophical and expound the virtues of acceptance .

Enter our Happy intellectual . This is an interesting category . Its of the people who understand that life is struggle to being with but the end can be a compromise . or may be the other way round . Point is its the Happy intellectuals non pursuel of a static view of world that makes it exciting . This is the person who is always cool with ever changing reality and still ready to negotiate his way out . He embodies the best of our fighter spirit and our sentimental flexibility .
He for once is the person who can switch between material and spiritual realms of our existence with ease .
To me thing signals an immense power . Its the flaring human mind that’s under control . Its the gushing human emotions that are under supervision . Its an enterprising human mind that values people .Its the realization that world need to be improved but not altered to suit ones convenience . Its the determination life needs to be enjoyed and be fought for .
Its of the people who has power to change things and the maturity to know what needs to changed why and how and most importantly how much .

Ben was one such person , i met in flight when i was drunk . One of such a person i know .and the reason why he matter is he is intellectual and he is happy .

As a teen i used to have big complaints on my friends forgetting to wish me birthday .Its was a simple funda for me then . Anyone one who wishes me on the day was my real friend .Nopes i dint confuse between great friends and routine ones . But someone who cares to remember my birthday was really my friend . Later when i grew up the fundae also changed . But i cant still laugh at my criteria of really friends . It was a rather simple and practical consideration .Some how the act of doing something so basic as saying Happy Bday assured the sanctity of the relation . I still go with the funda .doing things matter [ not so abt the converse though ].

Mumbai Attack on Taj and Trident were no small event for India .Much has been writeen about them and as the time passes its becoming more evident that this incident is going to shape India big time .More especially its considerations on nationalism .

I wish to draw attention to the other aspect where its going to make bigg difference , Indian democracy . As as institution its maturing .The way Mumabi blast prosecution is being handled makes the same thing evident .
Patriotism apart the basic things that happeing in and around Ajmal Kasabs trial is the case in point. Consider this Here is a nation infamous for Godhra and the mumbai attack . Here is the terrorist accused cought for Mumabi attck , looking all healthy . There was no news of any kinda of religious abuse towards this guy . He is presented in court and given a fair trial .

If you are not Indian or don’t believe much in Indian judicial system I wont argue with you .
But the fact that Ajmal Kasab has been given a govt laywer . The fact that Ms Anjali Waghmare is determined to fight his case . The fact that there is going to be detailed court trial does establish the sanctity of Indian democracy . No big claims that this is something so great about India .Rather its a sigh of content that the system is sane and working .

U know what the daughter of Hemant Karkare , the cop who died in mumbai attack said about kasab ” Release him , he is rather young can be/is mislead ” .May that’s something unique to this soil .. may be ..

The question hurts !.

The answer seems to be obvious but still … India has a long way to go in the process of respecting itself .

The attack was unprecedented in many respects. There was this generation and whole of india who started watching live action as it started .Boradcasted across network it had a moviegoers thrill in the eyes of many watching .Yes there was anger and a sense of being insulted when the siege continued for days but that too shows the naivety that we collectively have for such situations .
While we salute the brave police officers many of us have tough time ignoring that the ATS chief died with an out dated Armour in place .
While we appulaud the commandos we have tough time too ignoring the delays the system made .
Mumbai attack shattered many things along with the pride of Indians .
Its now a nation coming in terms with reality .Its people are realizing the sweet assumptions that we had aren’t so ! .

This India is now demanding action .And for a time after many years Indians started to realize that we are asking at the wrong place .
Its this india who is facing the moment of truth .The truth that we ignored and compromised the very basics standards that need to be followed to make a good society a great republic .Its this painful process of self examination that we are going through leaves me with hope that we may finally evolve to the questioning and uncompromising nation that we historically were know to be .

This is not to say that we or any other nation could avoid such incidents in future .Infcat i strongly believe thats its India who has the philosophical maturity to solve the problem of it at fundamental level .
But not in this incident .This was a case of terror and national insult and we must be candid in acknowledging that this is also a case of nation ignorant and unprepared ! .

To me Mumbai attacks aren’t unprecedented because they killed so many people or because they took hostage .It for reason subtle and far more effective for social psyche that makes them defining for India .

consider this :
This was the attack on foreign nationals most notably Israelis . This was also attack on the riches and not some train passenger .This was the attack happening on the background of rise of the term called hindu terror . This was the Most uncommunal aattck we had .This was the aattck where Muslims in mumbai denied access to their graveyard for terrorist burial .That to me , my friend is life defining moment for this nation .
Most notebly this was the attack in the age of media .This was the time where we had pakistani journalist participating in TV debates .It was in the face , like a slap , awakening the masses that unknowingly chose to pretned to sleep .

But now, somewhere it takes some amount of pain to call ourself that great of nation and super power in making .And this kind of feeling is frustrating .While i observe an event in making i pray that we feel more angry than frustrated , for its the former that leads to action . The later is just a drama done for self satisfaction .

While its too cute to believe that condy rices’s visit to Delhi was just a goodwill gesture .
The main question is will we go on war ?

The answer my friend in NO .

Not that i take side on we going or not going on war .The main question that won’t let me sleep is will the generation remember that we chose not to go on war ?
Will the generation never forget this choice made for progress as price paid and later channelize this in greater and universal benefit .

The main question is how far we will remember this day ?,will be take instant decision or will we stop compromising on principles? …will we improve the sum total of us …the nation ….?

the real question is …will india awake and arise ?!