Category: Misc

practical is an often misused word . Its mostly used to contrast like “Ideal vs practical” . The real contrast for me is actually “Realistic vs practical “.

Practical in simple terms denote something that is practiced .

And if you agree to this usage you will know why i chose to start a post on friendship with such a dry word .

Of all the relations friendship is second most talked about relation after love . Luckily its less confused about than love is. Almost every one agrees to the essence of what friends mean.

It can be as materialist as “friend in need is friend indeed” or it can be as exotic as “Friendship is what gives value to our survival” .

what ever is the definition  i am great fan of this relation .Its the most authentic relation than we have .Even more authentic and real than love . This is one relation that each one of us chooses in free will and spirit . Its un contaminated from fear , greed and desire ( something that makes love a complex thing ) .And we all own it completely .

Friendship is the most practical relation we have !.  Its what we choose to practice in life is how we gather our friends .To me that has immense power to an individual for his emotional survival .

Eric Berne says that all of the human interaction fall in following categories.

1. Withdrawal
2. Ritual
3. Pastimes
4. Activity
5. Games
6. Intimacy

Each one has it own characteristic and form essential part of our life .

Of all the relations friendship is the one where almost every shade of these manifest . Its for this reason i say friendship is a practical relation . Your or my basis of friendship with some one depends on what of above i practiced with in the relation .

While i don’t make a judgment of which one of the above is better than the other . In fact for the same reason we have so many words that describe friendship … friend , pal , soulmate ,buddy and so on .In case of Sanskrit this is even more graphic and detailed  mirta,sakha,surhud,snehi and so on..

To be precise its actually …. many words that describe the types of relations we form with our friends .Its almost karmic! 🙂

That brings us to the core of the topic of surviving friendship .

We make now easily intellectualize and say that relations fade for lack of substance . This is akin to saying that an acquaintance based on office rituals and cricket pastimes will fade away but an friend with real intimacy shall survive .I wouldn’t rubbish such a claim but its one sided to say it in short .Moreover it will make the whole topic complex  and it will also pass qualitative judgment on variations of friendship, a thing which i find un useful.

In a simple terms , we got to understand this . The base to our friendly relation a variety of topics associated to it . Each one of us connect to others on these topics with diff depth and at diff level. This is what adds flavors to our relations .

The problem is we often let this go un realized . Its these topics ,depth and level that change with passage of time.Every one of us go through diff life experiences as we live . Marriage , emigration,job,economics they all affect us constantly and change us . They also change grain by grain …..our likes on these topics , the depth we choose to go to and the levels at which we like to connect over these topics .

Its this phenomenon that affect our friendship . This is where most of us end up losing the vast network of friends we start with . The key word here is “Relevance” …if you wish to think over it . Its  relevance that alters our list of friends !! .And its the relevance crisis why we loose friends (or retain them).

I might have done a cozy post on friendship day .But as usual i choose the bitter-useful thing over the popular one.Consider this as my wish for friendship day .A day i would not like to celebrate (why should we need it) but I agree  to growing need of it (sadly) .

And in case you want a simple summary of this post , here it is .

“if we understand that friends change then  we don’t have to change friends ” .

Hope ur friends , in wahtever defination they fall … survive for your life time …. thats all we can claim as  completely  our own earning when we die .

Heyy ……………. Finally Rakhi Sawant got married . Ah What a relief .

and what a show it was man … 5 weeks …many news channel …millions of Indians and one lady !

My ramayan reading mom was glued to TV for this show just to see how far this lady will go ……. and boy i got revelation of lifetime .

This lady had just become the biggest media event in India . Something only sharukh khan can match for the money and hype involved .

Not that i support rakhi sawant and her type of dance and decorum  from the dayz of main hoo na …where i first noticed she exists .
but hey …The zeal with which we follow paris hilton and her videos …. isn’t it just fair for rakhi to claim her share of celebrity-dom in Indian way !!
There isnt a point in being hypocratic and discouraging this lass .
Shez controversial , shez in your face …shez fake ….and she is darling of media .
Her media management skills match that of Amitabh bacchan in the results ..  and i adore rakhi sawant for this !!

but this time …. with this swayamwar smth more happened .
For it was first time …. for real or fake …she was presented as a girl to all of india .
Its was a perfect transformation that could have been marketed . From an item girl to groom searching bride .
and of all events a swayamwar ….what a revenge it must have been on all the intellectuals …. and I admire rakhi for her guts.
and boy………………. in case you were laughing at this whole show as a joke … be alert ..
this must be the cleverest of marketing that we would witness  in these years

and I see more of rakhi sawant …. in newer and poweful forms to hit our faces …. and I love rakhi swant .

was the swayamwar staged …. ? ………who cares and why should we ….. the great indian entertainment show is on … and we consumed it without knowing what it means.

And I congratulate rakhi swant and Elesh .. her hubby .. the best luck ….and i even noted down the dress ideas for future 🙂

and i turned to mom …while the show was culminating …. that the world has changed beyond what she could cope up with ..
She must be corss checking this statement with her concepts of kaliyug …. i dunno

but I am happy … i just got one best example …. now on whenever i need to explain media and marketing manipulations …
i can just say ….this is like Rakhi ka sawayamwar ….

what U dint watch it ……….. ???? …what is good is your TV for …

but i love Rakhi Sawant …………… U jsut cant ignore her ………and none cares if you hate her or love her … lol

Background :
There is this footpath that’s been build recently at my work place . Its a tiny little path on both side of roads inside our campus . We are supposed to walk on it .
The problem is we are supposed to walk ONLY on it ….Tch Tch … it didnt work …
and finally one fine day there were sicurity guards deployed on the walkways … they wud guide us with whistles to walk on the footpaths…..Tch Tch …it dint work too …
and then one fine day …..These guards were given loud speakers …and they would shout from it …asking us to walk on the FP … Only on the FP .
The story was prompted based on this occurance but none from my workplace related to it ..
PS : With rainy seasons the loud speakers are silent ..and I hope this is forever ..

This is this joke …frequented my sms box these dayz ..

1969`s mom to her son : Beta, apne RELIGION ki ladki se shaadi karna ;
1979’s : Apne caste ki ;
1989’s : Apne level ki ;
1999’s : Apne desh ki ;
2009’s : Koi bhi par *ladki* se hee karna ……..

while this one is meant to be a small joke what startled me was that it captured changes in Indian society really well .
It captured the cultural undercurrents related to marriage in Indian society in shortest possible way .
Debate is on whether article 377 which has just decriminalized sexual freedom is actually of this big significance .

Well if u agree to the way i have worded it then there is nothing to think over .
What the court did in the ruling is simple de-criminalization of sexual freedom .
But that now how the media sold the story and that why it mattered .
Somehow this has become Gay ruling than anything else .

Analyzing the basics …..Post British invasion India has been a socially very diff than the free thinking India we take pride in .
Its just that this has not been well realized by Indian masses and intellectuals alike .
Indians for long has been collectively restrictive and individually liberal society till this time .
What this sentence means in simple term is ….so long u conform to the basic rules …u had the freedom to live the way you wish .

Its during and after colonial rule that we all found ourselves as completely changed society in the form albeit with the same soul …
Be it our standards of being cultured …definition of being civil ….parameters of progress …or agree of liberty .

Its with this un-conscious dual-ism in our thinking the whole debate about 377 becomes significant !!!! .

If you have analyzed the joke above carefully you would realize its contrasting gayz with marriage. This is the dual-ism i am referring to .
While being sexually deviant (gay or otherwise ) is matter of orientation .. being gay or lesbian is about lifestyle .

The india i know would not have much issues with the former .
But the india i know is not prepared for the latter .

And i told u guyz …we were collectively restrictive :…..and individually liberal society 🙂 !!!!

When is say that India isn’t ready for gayz … i don’t really have any probelm with them as such .
Rather its a larger issues than that …. Indians aren’t just ready for “Lifestyle ” culture .
Add to it our confused dual-ism …or if u prefer a simple word … Hippocratic 🙂 .
So long we as country dont really state and stand for what really matters …so long we dont chooze the right over to appropriate …we or anyone for that matter is in for huge shocks in these times ..

I will give a simple example … i was visiting my friend at Jammu last year …he stayed in gandhi nagar or smth like that there .
Being the IT geek …i searched for jammu and this nagar on orkut …and lo ….i came across …
Gandhi nagar sex club with some 3-4 thousand members !! …. now i assume all of these are weak ppl …but theay are 3-4 thousand real ppl …they are part of society .
some jammu gayz and wives and gigolo clubs …and i was wondering …when i landed there ..whether jammuites are aware deep down smth is brewing !!!

… i must admit …i used to think that such things happened in Bangalore only …but Jammu wasn’t a simple place either ….and nor should be rest of india .

oh yes … i wasn’t confident of writing this post at first …….lest my friends connect my late marriage with this article 🙂
As a writer the first thing you learn is to keep your personal thoughts and your intellectual ones separate …what i wasn’t sure whether the readers know of it …..lol
…and as i was making up my mind …i came up with the tag line of collective -restriction….and personally free
…and that made writing this post more compelling .

coming back to the topic … the India ….
we see now is in middle of similar transformation that US went though in the hippies revolution .
Things like article 377 or women reservation bill just make it more evident …
or if you prefer ….a better example … movies like ….Kal ho na ho and dostana make it move than evident …
and no wonder …. i consider karan johar as brilliant show man ….

he just made…with these movies .. ….gayz collectively acceptable…. and that is where the PJ above is so important ..

and you thought Jokes were only of small significance eh ?

The Real Meaning

of Words

small note : This post has its images copied from Gmail , Please login to gmail in case you cant see them .Its worth it .

Love


Sorrow


Innocence


Departure


Pain


Solitude


Music


Respect


Compassion

Friendship

.

Patience

Rescued


Best friends



Divine

“Life is not about waiting

for the storms to pass…it’s

about learning how

to dance in the rain.”

I said in my last blog

(http://emutions.blogspot.com/2009/04/india–awekning-will-election-2009-will.html )

that people are so sure of a hung parliament and congresses demise that the results might shock them .

As luck has it the same thing happened . Congress won with thumping majority . And boy I love underdog stories .This could be story of the decade of sorts .For this election is quite remarkable in many aspects .

Rise of congress: You would have heard the seat count for INC and how the UP results turned it all around . The main point is whether its 262 or 225 . Whether its congresses personal victory or that with pre poll alliance . The congress is back as a party . It should satisfying to all the nationalist ppl that the balance of power in Indian polity has been restored . The lalus and paswan and mayawati that has eaten humble pie doesn’t matter that much . To begin with its not about the individual . Its not even so much about their tendencies . Its about the vacuum that existed at the center stage . By luck or by effort INC did fill this gap and that matters [cant take side , I work in private co.].

Fall of left : Now there isn’t a fall of left at national level . They might loose the state to mamata in assembly election .One cant even ignore the constituencies they won . left is still alive and shall be present in parliament . For most of the last years they have been painted as complete villain . Nopes I don’t support the arrogance neither do I support political player in time warp . But the fact is left is more victim of bad publicity than bad deeds . For political arrogance and out dated agenda isn’t alien to many of Indian parties . Even other wise not all of what left said and is publicized is bad . Few of their demands on insurance and bank reforms do make sense . Economics and social decision are matter of choices and we need to give left the necessary personal space as a a party .Somehow I feel there were vested interests in marking them as total villains .

Rise of Rahul : This one was long dude . The prince should take his seat and make the moves . Somehow the timing saddens me . Rahul , like his father , comes across as boy with dream . May be he isn’t realistic and mature and what not . But time has proven that these are the people that sow the seed of path breaking initiatives . Sad part is that with such a thumping victory will Rahul gandhi get to learn all the lesson and will sycophancy spoil some of it . Welcome to the new leader .

Phonix of BJP ? : They did it again . Last time it was India rising and this time it was Advani as strong leader . Somehow BJP did not get past the US like election hangover . May be they are ahead of the curve . Or may be this party is out of touch with reality . The truth remains to be seen . As Mr advani is set to retire it also offer BJP a golden opportunity to re structure and be the balancing alternative that we need so much , given the rise of congress .

No Indian Obama : Given the performance attributed to Mr lalu yadav once cant surely suspect that Ms mayavati would not prove good as PM for India ,in any sense whatsoever . What perturbed me so long is the media frenzy . They were almost ready to launch a huge star making campaign in case this lady was vital to govt formation . With out passing any judgment to her credentials I personally feel that any country should hail its leaders and their rise for right reasons . Luckily such a mania of Dalit lady Pm campaign is averted and I wish we always get leaders based on their own merit or luck than such criteria .

Congress and Economy : This one perhaps the most mythified one . Not to deny the reformists credentials of INC and Mr manmohan sing . The fact remains that the whole agenda of FDI , reforms and disinvestment – privatization has , luckily been exposed in recent crisis . While the markets hail come back Mr Manmohan and likes we need to separate the myths from the truth . For this is the same set of people who also saw the Indian real estate bubble being built . The ideas like full convertibility if rupee , euro doller reserve , Bank and Insurance reforms are some of the bold and mature decision that are purely individual and vision based than rely on popular norms of financial and fiscal wisdom . To say the least and pass safest statement one need to differentiate people from decision . The former doesn’t guarantee later and the quality of it . As usual assumptions is enemy of money making and national prosperity .

Congress and US : This is probably the most ignored aspect of all .Given the economical and political situation and the position US has in them . What we needed in India is experienced leader and foreign minister . People whoz wisdom is deep rooted with Indian ethos . People who are grounded in reality than driven by craze of proving ideologies . And people who are flexible enough ]. Obscure enough INC that too without disrupting allies works better for India in the historic juncture that India is in than ,many other alternatives .

Saint Sonia : She is stronger than ever . Don’t be surprised to see her top most of lists of power women survey . The lady might be on her way to be one of the great India has seen . Just forecasting 🙂

In summary , the rise of congress is significant in the opportunities we have , the much needed sanity that India needed and the baggage of redundancy that comes with it .Only that many of them are misplaced and most of them are misunderstood .

Ironical as it is . This incident coincides with fall of LTTE . Poetic is it ?

Jai Ho ..

two behaviorists meet each other.

One of them says, “You’re fine; how am I?”

🙂